I think I’m gonna steal your idea of burning the list in a fire. My husband likes to build fires in the winter, so that’ll be a nice ritual. My fears?

I’m asking for too much from life. It will take forever to get done. My daughter will feel neglected. I’m being selfish. I’m wasting time. It’s too much responsibility. People will make fun of me (weird old fear from middle school). I will fail. I will give up.

In general, I’m letting go of perfectionism. The need to have everything done RIGHT AWAY ALL AT ONCE. Feeling inadequate.

This is one to keep working on over and over. I’m sure more fears and self-limiting behaviors will arise along the way.

Woh. This is hard.

What am I scared of with this course?

I’m scared that my course won’t be good enough, that it won’t have the transformative effect on others I want it to have.

I worry about getting the approval of people who have been working in this space for longer, and at a higher level, than I have. Who do I think I am writing a big ol’ e-course on this shit when there are others out there who are probably far better qualified than me? What if something I say actually has the opposite effect and makes people think I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? I actually feel weird, icky little knots, physically in my stomach, about some of the experts I currently work with in this space seeing my work and dismissing it as lacking, missing something, or being under par.

I’m worried about people buying it, and at the end of it, thinking “That didn’t help me”.

I’m scared that my course will be one of the 97% that fails. That I will put all of this work in, that it will be the best damn course I’m capable of creating and that it will still fail. And that it won’t become the little passive income stream I need to create the life I want for my family or to take my dreams to their next phase.

I’m so here for the long haul. I’ve got no issues with determination or procrastination – I’m very much ‘JFDI’. I know I need to let this stuff go. But some of it feels so old (especially the approval needing) that I don’t know how.

As I’ve been writing this, something has occurred to me. There’s a book I love called ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. She says that when it comes to fear, the thing that’s really scary is the idea that you won’t be able to handle it if the thing you’re scared of happens. But, actually, you can find a way to handle it, because if it happened, you’d have to. She suggests actually saying to yourself “I’LL HANDLE IT!”

For a while now I’ve been just clinging on to the blind faith I have that I’ll figure out how to make my e-course good (and trusting that this course will help me do that), and that even if I am scared of what other experts will say, I’m going to do it anyway. Maybe I don’t know how to let these things go, exactly, and maybe I don’t know yet how I’m going to make this work, but I do know that whatever happens, I’ll handle it.

So fears, take that. I got this. I’m in charge. I’ll handle it.

🙂

Such a juicy topic 🙂