@laurieheer

Thank you so much.  I know it is very needed.  Our culture teaches us to hate our bodies and then tells us the clothes we buy will fix this.  Of course it won’t. So we end up hating our clothing and our bodies.  Or at least disliking it.  We spend all this money on items that don’t suit us because 20 people at the top of the fashion industry has told us this is what will look good, but the very clothes we are being told to buy to fix our self esteem are designed for a very small proportion of the population.

So instead of spending our time and money trying to find clothes that fix us,  What better way to spend our time readjusting our beliefs about our bodies and ourselves and then go find clothes that suit us.

Ok.  Some part of me felt I needed to be the president of my kids parent council… Hmm she and I need to have a serious talk, as if I’m not busy enough already.  So 2 weeks of insanity finding out what government stuff needs to be filed that will keep our parent society running for one more year, plus finishing up our September fundraising efforts, and I’m back (mostly).

Uncover your why

The most valuable part of uncover your why was question 3.  Why am I qualified to teach this course?  When the wise wizard of architect forest said to me what are your true qualifications, I took some serious time to reflect on this one.

Working on my Master’s in psychology, plus with the combination of an undergraduate in fashion and family studies plus my image consulting courses and experience as a personal style coach all contribute to what I’ll bring to the table.

But the life story that is the most important is trying the solution the fashion and beauty industry offers, and the utter failure of that as described in the previous post.

I took classes of image consulting 5 years ago and I learned how to make myself (and others) look absolutely amazing.  But I was still empty inside.

And I noticed a similar trend in my coaching clients.  We would spend all this time an money teaching them how to LOOK amazing, but I noticed they had a short high followed with them going right back, or almost right back to the way they looked before the “makeover.” Why would they spend this time and money with me and not use what I taught them?

Because they still defined themselves as plain jane or whatever inside.  They didn’t see themselves as worthy of being beautiful, or accepting their beauty.  Or they had other conflicting beliefs that prevented them from accepting their beauty.   Such as beautiful people are fake or superficial.  I’m smart, not pretty. You get the idea.

So we have to get our emotional selves on board along with, or perhaps even before we learn the outside techniques of dressing for our bodies.

So my true qualifications I believe are having walked the path, plus seeing the direct connection in my personal style coaching client’s lives as well.

Thank you wise wizard!

Okay the refinement from Architekt forest

What: Busting Fashion Myths teaches women they have an emotional relationship with their clothing and themselves based on beliefs they have consciously or unconsciously formed mostly from cultural myths, family dynamics, and the opinions of others.

Why: Until we know about this relationship with ourselves and our clothing it is usually very negative based on a culture with an exceeding narrow definition of beauty leaving women feeling un-beautiful un-loved and un-acceptable.  For the better of ourselves our daughters and our sons this needs to change.

Who: Those who like myself, no matter the age, have tried the fashion industry solution of buying external things to address internal struggles. And eventually like me they found that this solution is ultimately ineffective.  AND those who are ready to take courage to address the emotions in their internal closets.

Transformation: For this course the transformation is a change in attitude from being a victim of our thoughts, culture, family messages to taking the courage to step forward into our personal power and start the process of owning and sorting our emotions, beliefs, related to our bodies and our wardrobes.

How: You have beliefs and emotions about yourself and your wardrobe.  How these are formed.  Discovering your beliefs from the culture, your family, others opinions of you.  Awareness of the inner workshop you’ve likely created for yourself (although not all parts of your life may have this), Awareness of the inner workshop tools that are much more beneficial, The choice is yours moving forward.

Vibe: The course is supposed to be fun, compassionate, and creative, inspiring you to take power of your relationship with your clothing and yourself.

@sjrobert you bet! That is another pipe dream for probably a couple decades from now to have a fashion brand ethically designed and produced for women’s bodies, not “my ego.”  I don’t want you to wear my brand to fix yourself or make yourself better as so many advertise.  I want you to wear my brand as an expression of discovering the style of YOU.  And as I’ve discovered with both myself and my clients over the years, this starts internally.

Well, clearly I need to work more on getting these updated!!

Finished the Feb challenge and won the Crown Yay!.  The course outline as below.

Theme: Cleaning out Your Emotional Closet  Outlines

Hero’s Journey: Wake Up Call: You have an emotional relationship with your clothes fueled by what emotions and belief are “hanging” in your closet

Milestone Number: 1) Fashion Feelings and You  

Lesson 1) The inner closet of emotions and fashion Theme: Introducing the closet

Lesson Purpose: Explaining that we have an inner closet filled with thoughts and emotions about fashion and beauty that most of us have never explored.

Delivery: Video – Explain that we all have an emotional relationship with our clothes, and our internal closet is full of them.

Call to Action: Get yourself a beautiful journal and a special pen for your fashion story.

Audio Assisted Visualization: Think back to an amazing memory in your life in which you knew you looked your best: your wedding, graduation, prom, special religious celebration, and see if you can remember what you were wearing, and how you felt.  Remember the specific colour, the texture, if there was a scent, about the clothing you were wearing.

Supporting Documents: Link to channel trailor video on youtube.

Lesson 2) Your feelings and your clothes: Theme: Opening the closet door

Lesson Purpose: Thinking of your emotional relationship with your clothes

Delivery Method: Video – Eeyore being depressed about his closet, or Remy (from ratatouille) being excited about all the possible combinations

Call to Action: Go to your actual closet/dresser and pay attention to the very first thoughts that come into your mind.

Take a few minutes to answer journal questions:

What do you think your overall emotional relationship with your clothes is?

How do you feel when you go into your closet? ie) Hopeless, overwhelmed, angry, neutral joyful?

Lesson 3) The Major Emotions that we attach to fashion Theme: Walking into the closet and having a brief look around at what is in there

Lesson Purpose: Teach the basics of the major emotions and language that will run through your mind, and body reactions that might attend in relation to your clothes

 Delivery: Video, have the emotions have different colours or personalities and talk to you the way they speak in your head, and how you feel in your body

Ie anger: Red, you are such a moron, why did you waste money on all those

Joy: teal, those are my favourite shoes I feel so beautiful in them

Call to Action: Go to your closet and pull out one of your favourite pieces.  Feel what emotion is attached to it. Happy, content, joy, connection, write about those feelings in your journal. Notice how your body feels  when you think of this happy memory related to the clothes, you might be relaxed

Go to your closet and pull out one of the pieces you don’t like and have kept, or think of an item you don’t have anymore that you didn’t like.  Feel the emotions connected to that item.  Anger, hopeless, etc.  Notice how your body feels. Do you have a tightening feeling, or a completely listless empty feeling.

Of themselves, clothes are just clothes, a scarf is just a scarf until we attach emotional meaning to it.

Hero’s Journey Start of Pursuit and Conflict

Milestone Number 2) The Beginning of Beliefs and Taking Inventory

Lesson 1) Fiona’s Fashion Story Theme: Here’s how my closet got filled

Lesson Purpose: To use my life and fashion story, emotions and beliefs about fashion formed for my students to get the idea.

Delivery Method: Video – A story of my life type video explaining the emotions I went through as a child, teen, early adult and up to now.

Call to Action: Use my story as inspiration to think about how you started. Look at the list of fashion myths that showed up in my life to start your mind working about what myths might be in your life that are driving the way you dress and relate to fashion.

Lesson 2) Discovering your story: How we get beliefs and emotions about fashion  Theme: How the closet got filled with clothes and stuff

Lesson Purpose: Your emotions and beliefs about fashion have been accumulating for years, and you’ve acquired them from many different sources, family, fashion industry, friends.

Delivery Method: Video – Journey into your mind and Have different characters in the family, culture etc putting things in the closet.  Have items attached to the “belief” as well as the tools that have been handed down to you from the social mirror and family patterns.

Granny, mother, father, fashion magazines etc, best friend, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouse etc

Call to Action: Write your fashion story.  Just try to write your memories and beliefs about fashion and your relationship to clothes as passed down to you from your family or your friends or the larger culture.  Be as honest as you can.

Lesson 3) Identifying some of the myths Theme: Identifying the old clothes that no longer support you

Lesson Purpose: To start becoming aware of your personal fashion myths

Delivery: Video – Fashion myths are sneaky things and you may not have a whole bunch come to mind.  In fact you may even be thinking that this whole process is a waste of your valuable time. This is also a myth, because that is your mind’s way a tricking you into thinking you have nothing to improve upon, or no need to self-reflect.

Call to Action: Free write answers to questions in your fashion story journal (e journal, or actual journal) You want the first thing that pops into your mind. No sifting here.  Then keep writing more answers to that question or statement if more than one thing comes up

When I think about fashionable people …..

People who are stylish are….

Fashion is….

Being beautiful means…

Beautiful people are….

I define myself as beautiful I …

Growing up I was taught that fashionable people…

When I think about what it would be like for me to be more stylish I…

My religion (if applicable) taught me being fashionable is…

My experience around fashionable people is…

Growing up I was taught that spending money on clothes is …

Growing up I was taught that spending time shopping is…

Clothes are…

My relationship with my wardrobe is…

My perceptions about fashion are…

What does a typical day look like for me when I am choosing what to wear.

What are my biggest frustrations with fashion and my wardrobe?

Why do I think fashion has been a struggle for me (if it has)?

What words would I use to describe the fashion industry?

How do I feel when you think about fashion? (remember the emotional words from the fashion and emotions lesson)

Have I read any books about fashion and style and what did I learn (or not)?

What thoughts run through my mind when I try on clothes that don’t fit at the store?

What has stopped me from seeking help or action related to your frustrations?

What have I done in the past to improve my feelings about fashion and how it relates to myself? Has it worked?

Lesson 4) A quick inventory (You have good things about you.) Theme: See the things you love and like in your closet

Lesson Purpose: To show you that there are positive things in your closet too.

Delivery: Video – Compare positive attributes of yourself to your favourite clothing, the favourite dress or pair of shoes, things about your body you love, things you were taught about fashion that you love (your best colours are green etc)

Call to Action: Take a quick inventory of the things you like about yourself, your body, and your life.  You are good at Math, You have nice hips, you have pretty hair, you love your children.  If you think you have nothing (which is itself a myth), ask your close friends and family who you trust. They will tell you wonderful things about yourself, and go from there first if you need the support.

Write your list of your favourite things about yourself and hang in on the wall where you can readily see it every morning, (or your refrigerator, or some prominent place in your home)

Milestone Number 3) The tools you’ve been taught and the closet you’ve got (probably).

Lesson: The tools you’ve been given Theme: Finding those harsh tools in the closet

Lesson Purpose: To take a courageous and seriously honest look at the negative emotions and fashion myths that may be driving your fashion decisions.  The negative listed below drive all from feeling we are not enough and must make up for it by having the right clothes or looking different etc

Delivery: Video explaining all the harsh tools that have been dumped in our closets

The drill of self hate – used to drill how bad you are into yourself (you didn’t wear the right thing, now they hate you)

The Hammer of anger – used to beat yourself up repeatedly when you do something or wear something wrong (these thoughts are continually repeated about your clothing choices)

The tape measure of self rejection – constantly used to see how you measure up to others, and then reject yourself (why can’t I afford the “right labels”)

The level of comparison and perfectionism – used to pressure you to always look perfect, or used to give up because you’ll never be as good as someone else ( I’ll never be as pretty as so and so,

Hard Hat of protection – used to ensure everyone else stays far away and doesn’t see what you fear is the real you (I can’t let them see who I really am, so I must defend by conforming to what the fashion industry or family etc say I have to dress, even if it isn’t flattering to my personality, body, or life)

Work boots of denial – used to desensitize you and ensure you feel nothing, because there is only negative anyway (I don’t care how I look, I’m too old for that nonsense)

Call to Action: Be very very honest with yourself.  Write in your journal how you have used the following tools to reject yourself and your clothes, or tried to make up for your being not enough through clothing or makeup (BIGGEST FASHION MYTH).

Do not let this become a beating yourself up session.  PLEASE.  It is simply being honest so you can see how to change your ways.  Do NOT give up at this stage PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

Milestone Number 4) Learning the Kinder Way

Lesson: The soft tools Teach you all the wonderful tools that facilitate an inner sanctuary or haven Theme: Taking the harsh tools out of the closet and putting in the soft tools

Lesson Purpose: Courageously remove the harsh tools (they can be addicting, and if part of your self image is built upon not being enough, it takes courage, beautiful courage, to change your mind)

Delivery: Video: Explaining the soft tools that will replace the harsh tools, give an example of how to “rewrite” the belief.  Emphasizing that yes we were handed down those lousy tools and now we choose whether or not to keep them.  At this point the choice really is ours.

The toque (hat) of thoughtfulness – we are going to use it to feel warm and to protect our thoughts from negative rehashing (when you find the hammer in the closet again, simply remove it and carry on, when you are at home, actually wear the toque to remind you if necessary)

Blanket of compassion – this is a warm and comforting tool that allows us to feel safe and secure while we deconstruct our negative beliefs (we see that we were innocent in our accumulation of our negative beliefs, they were put there by family, culture, or perhaps ourselves, but we didn’t know any better, WE REALLY DIDN”T)

The magnifying glass of inquiry – used to magnify and sort which beliefs are correct and which are not (when a thought pops up, get curious about it, not inner yelling and berating about it are you using the hammer, the level, the measure tape instead of the magnifying glass?)

The journal of discovery – used to compassionately unpack and dissolve the incorrect beliefs (journal where the negative belief came from, and thank the belief for what it has taught you)

The pen of patience – to discover the correct beliefs (write what beliefs you really want to have)

The comfy socks of forgiveness – used to keep us warm and feeling and walk us on the path to using (put on a real pair of socks the remind you to forgive others and yourself about the fashion myths in your life)

Mirror of faith and truth – a place to look deeply and see and believe how beautiful we really are (appreciate your body for the miraculous gift that it is!)

Call to Action: Take one of the fashion myths you identified in the previous module and run it through these tools. (Such as the one outlined in the video).

Supporting Documents: Link to youtube video about appreciating your body and yourself

Milestone Number 5 (Cleaning out the Closet)

Lesson: Cleaning the closet Theme: Taking those old clothes that don’t fit out of the closet and donating or selling them for good!

Lesson Purpose: To take the fashion myths you identified in Milestone 2 L 4 through the kinder way and release them, learn to pay attention to your thoughts as other myths arise

Delivery: Video – Have clothes with the fashion myths written on them and just sort through the closet and decide that these haven’t fit me for years, so it’s time to let them go.

Call to Action: Take the other fashion myths through the cleaning out process outlined above

Hero’s Journey Resolution

Milestone Number 6 (Organizing and adding items of beauty and value to your closet)

Lesson 1): So many types of beautiful Theme: Look at all the clothes in your closet that you love.  They are all different and highlight your unique beauty in their own ways

Lesson Purpose: To help you see that there are many expressions of beauty and you are one such expression.

Delivery: Video – expand on so many types of beautiful.  Every person is a unique expression of beauty, including you.

Call to action: Revisit your list of what you like about yourself and choose one thing to start telling yourself everyday looking yourself in the eye in the mirror. Ie I love myself because I love my children.  I am beautiful.

Supporting documents: Link to many types of beauty youtube video

Lesson 2) Your Values of clothes Theme: (What clothes do YOU want in your closet?)

Lesson Purpose: Identify your personal values regarding fashion. You get to choose what thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself and your clothes.  Theme: Create excitement about your new clothes (thoughts/feelings/beliefs)

Delivery: Video – You decide what values are important to you in fashion.  I want you to think of the movie the runaway bride and how she neve really thought about what SHE liked.  She only thought about what others wanted her to do or like.  You are in charge here.  Do you like comfort?  Do you like function?  Do you like affordable? Do you like bright? Do you like soft? Do you like crisp? Do you like muted?  What do you value in your closet? Do you like shiny? Do you like matte?

Call to action: Go to your favourite things in your closet and determine what  it is about that item that you love, the colour, the texture etc.  Then write about all the things you personally value in clothing, as much as you can.

Lesson 3) Your value of yourself (Theme: What thoughts, beliefs, and feelings do you want in your closest)

Purpose: Learning the relationship you have with your clothes is largely a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Create a loving, supportive one!

Delivery: Video – going back to the mirror of truth.  When we look in the mirror all we really see is a reflection of ourselves.  The mirror will never tell you anything other than what the body your soul resides in looks like.  The mirror cannot tell you your value.  You tell you your value.

Your value is not in this body you wear.  Or the clothes you adorn the body with.  Your value is in WHO YOU ARE.  And the joy is learning what works for the natural harmony of your body and what you are better off without.  Once you truly accept the natural beauty you have and are, you will not desire to wear anything that goes against yourself.  And you will come to see the miraculous body you inhabit for the ally and gift it is.

You decide you are beautiful.  Not the fashion industry, not the spouse, not the kids, the parents, friends etc.  The decision to see yourself as beautiful must be an internal one.  Because then when other people change their minds (and they do) you will never be at the mercy of their opinions of your own beauty again.  Or when your body changes (and it does), your beauty is not directly linked to the body.  You see the beauty in your body, but your personal essence of beauty is not in how tall, thin, young, old, smooth, wrinkled, light or dark you are.  You appreciate the body for the beauty it has, thank it for all it does for you and you realize your beauty is in the person you are.  And of course learning to adorn the beauty and body you have (not something you wish you were).  Eventually you learn to stop comparing and only look at you.  Your personal definition of beauty can become you, exactly as you are, at this stage in your life.

Call to action: See that the problem never has been your actual body.  It has only been yourthoughts and emotions about your body and the fashion myths fueling those. If you think your hips are too big, you say says who? The fashion industry? My spouse? My thoughts?  And once you run those thoughts through the kinder way, you can see that those thoughts really don’t have the power to define you.  You can let them go and enjoy the hips that hold your legs and let you walk!

Lesson 4) The Hero Theme (This internal closet is a special place that holds you as the Hero)

Purpose: To rewrite your fashion story from the beginning with new eyes.

Delivery: Video – Fashion myth victim or your own Superwoman? Me wearing a superwoman costume and telling them I decide who I am, and you decide who you are.  Tell them how I rewrote my own fashion story.  My gifts have been the solid knowledge that clothes and makeup cannot provide me with beauty or self esteem. These are only tools that highlight the beauty that I already am.

I will be beautiful for my entire life at every stage, even when my hips are bigger from babies.  Even with the emerging wrinkles from being almost 40, even with the stretch marks from having children.  The gift? A self assurance that could not have come in any other way.

Call to Action: Rewrite your story from the beginning but from the eyes with you as the hero.  Keep all the essential detail, but write what was the gift from the situation? Ask your personal higher power for help.  Talk to a trusted friend.  But rewrite your story with you as the hero.  Because you had the beautiful courage to complete this course and you are the hero of your life!

Oh! What is that at the back of the closet? A trap door? What lies beyond the trap door? Stay tuned for coming e courses to find out…

Where you accept and love yourself, not just identify the myths that you’ve been programmed with and will learn in future courses to adorn yourself with love, appreciation, and kindness